Communication, Influence Insiders & Tough Pay Conversations

Communication can make or break work relationships ... and, ultimately, reward programs.

I had a first hand opportunity to get better educated about communication tendencies and techniques when Jon Wortmann - advisor, speaker and author of Mastering Communication at Work: How to Lead, Manage, and Influence - joined the March episode of Influence Insiders blogtalkradio show.  During a fun and fast-paced conversation, Jon:

• Described different communication styles and helped each of us quickly diagnose our own approach and consider whether it changed when we are stressed, and
• Used stories to illustrate how diagnosing and responding to our audiences' communication styles can help us build trust and understanding.

Since the show, I've thought more about the suggestions Jon offered for better communication and, specifically, how we might take advantage of them to improve conversations we have with employees about their pay.  I am often in the position of coaching my clients on how to approach a difficult compensation conversation with an employee; however, I tend to focus on the content (via talking points) rather than the process of these exchanges.  I'm guessing I have a lot of room for improvement.  Jon and I had a quick conversation about this topic before the show formally kicked off, but didn't really have a chance to circle back to it within the time constraints of the one hour show.

So, perhaps a follow-up request for a blog interview is in order...  What pay communication questions would you ask Jon?

Miss Jon's guest gig on Influence Insiders?   You can listen to the archived edition here.  And be sure to check out Jon's manifesto/ebook The Best Communicator in the World on the Change This site.

And, finally ... don't forget to put the next Influence Insiders show on your calendar today.  On April 7, noon EST, our guest will be Brian Ahearn, Caldini Certified Influencer and specialist in the psychology of persuasion.

Comments

[E. James (Jim) Brennan]

Sounds like you may take a rather "male" approach to compensation discussions, focusing on clarifying factual understanding versus exploring emotional context, probing attitudes, reflecting feelings and resolving issues. Guys tend to emphasize TELL versus RESOLVE forms of communication process.

Sometimes the process determines the product. How you do it influences what you do and how successful the output result. Any difficult issue requires talking points that monitor the process and flex with the feedback encountered, I'd expect.

[Ann Bares]

Jim:

You're right, I guess - that it is a "male" approach on the factual versus emotional spectrum (although I sure don't like to think of it that way ...) I recognize the importance of process - but I don't think I have traditionally offered strong coaching to my clients in that area.

Thanks for the thoughts!

[E. James (Jim) Brennan]

What is a weakness in a man is frequently a strength in a woman, and vice versa. Any gender-specific sensitivity to "process" you have is BOUND to be stronger than the average man's sensitivity to feelings and emotions, while your ability to "talk guy" will be infinitely superior to the usual man's ability to "fem-speak." When most guys are essentially tone-deaf to emotional content in business transactions, any imbalance you admit to will never be noticed by them. They will find your viewpoints cogent and perfectly sound, while you may find that your female-led clients are tougher to land and hold. Unless they are headed by similarly tough-minded women, of course.... (and everyone... PLEASE realize I am using terms very loosely here, in due deference to my good pals at the NCPE).